No poet here

I feel as though
I have never written before
These scrawling words
are but living breathing insects
Minute but terrible
That scuttle across
This blank canvas of a page.

These words
Know my incompetence.
I cannot
master them.
They will not serve me.

Dark thoughts

I dwell in your mind,
Beneath your scalp,
behind your eyes.

I see you there
And what you think
Before you tell others
With pen and ink.

You must love me,
I have hooks and claws,
Ready to tear the love out
Of strangers in the night.

I am your sacred soul,
Your cold conscience,
Your thoughts.

I dwell in your mind,
Beneath your scalp,
Behind your eyes.

Our youth

We used to know the touch of youth,
The sun's glow graced our pale young flesh,
The breeze carefully caressed us,
And we laughed in the green.

We made a bridge from old rotten crates,
That spanned a river flowing four feet wide,
We passed beneathe the trees of oak and ash,
And danced upon the unsullied bare rock.

We knew the grace of innocence,
The freedom of the summertime,
And the liberty of youth.
We dreamed of this future we now live.

War

Onward onward towards the
Barricade quick over the
Bridge run run towards the
Battle advance advance to the
Blazing azure retreat to the
Burning home protect the
Battered family. Clean the
Bloodied bayonet.

A flickering candle sings the truth
A dream, and yet a dream no longer,
Forged in iron, dust and soot,
We arise, renewed and stronger.

No more an artist drowned in rum,
Ideas flaming and skitting,
Pen tightly grasped between finger and thumb,
Nothing could be more fitting.

Assonance, metaphor, alliteration,
Writing a poem is like singing a song,
Bohemian, vagrant, no pride of the nation,
And yet you know it's for this life that you long.

Be good and do good

I'm very confused. Do any of you ever have one of those days where you kind of question who you really are? Today was my day. I didn't sleep much last night. I slept for about an hour and a half, and I suffered from nightmares. I did a lot of thinking today. I had two double frees in the study, which provided more than enough time to think. I thought about God, religion, knowledge, meaning, value, society. I realise how little I know. I'm just a speck of dust floating in a cavern. I feel very strange today. I feel as though I'm a stranger in a strange land. I feel out of place. I feel as though I am a stone on the wrong beach, carried too far by the tides. There are so many talented people in the world. I'm just sort of... here. I occupy space. I give my opinions. I argue. I breathe. I can't help but wonder what Bobby would do if he or she were born. Bobby was a baby than my mam lost a few months before me. If they were born, I would never have been conceived. I always wander what kind of person they would have been. I suppose I always felt guilty for all of my failures because of Bobby. I always think that Bobby could have been special. I always feel as though they would have succeeded whenever I failed.

I'm not sure why I'm blogging today. I'm in an odd mood to blog. I doubt that many people will even read this, but still. I always wonder what people will remember of us when we're dead. I wonder if I'll have achieved anything truly great by then. I want to help people. I want to be good. I really do, but I'm plagued with laziness, pride and jealousy. I'm a terribly weak person in those respects. I'm not very proud or arrogant, but I often give off that aura. I don't think that I'm better than others, but I sometimes wish that I was. I know it's wrong, but I do it. I used to be very active. I used to help people with their problems. I used to work for lots of charities. I used to do good. I sometimes wonder what happened. I've strayed from the path. I've become too self-centred, too selfish. I don't want to be like this, but changing back has proved quite difficult.

I've always tried to live my life by the dictum "Be good and do good." I only wish my will could remain strong enough to do so.

Andrew

I have issues..

What the hell is wrong with me?
Today has just been one of those days. I got up this morning and I kind of wish thag I didn't. Nothing particularly bad happened. I was just so angry the whole day. Angry at the shopkeeper in the shop near my school, angry at my classmates for just being there, angry at my teachers for giving me my results, angry at myself, angry at society.
Today has just been an off day for me. For some reason, the whole #stopkoby campaign really annoyed me today. I was just so annoyed in school. Everyone was talking about it, but they didn't have a clue what it was. I'm sickened by the people on facebook, who share a video and think they're righteous social activists. I'm just really cynical and angry today. Normally I agree with ANY kind of activism.
But today, it annoys me. It annoys me because a twitter RT isn't going to change a thing. I don't mind people raising awareness. I'm all for that. It just pisses me off when people think their tweet will topple a rebel leader. Joseph Kony has been active for years.

His group, The Lord's Resistence army, has systematically butchered, raped and kidnapped innocent people. What annoys me is that I watched a video two years ago that made me cry. The first proper video that made me weep. It was a victim of the LRA, a fourteen girl who had been raped. She was stabbed and was dying. I saw her die in that video. What annoys me is that these twitter RT's and Facebook shares are a fad. What annoys me is that people don't think about the individual people involved. I'm just frightened that the girl in that video doesn't really matter in all of this. A campaign of slogans, not of people: "Stop Kony", "be the change", "Kony 2012".

I'm probably just being cynical because my head is all about the place. I hope that I'm wrong. I hope that this isn't just a twitter fad. I hope people actually think more deeply into it. I hope that they actually care.